12 Phrases That Reduce Motivation In Children

Children must arouse their desire to learn. Motivation is their most powerful engine and the basis for positive discipline. Therefore, we must activate it from an early age. When we say inappropriate phrases, even if we do not want to hurt them, we may reduce the motivation of children much more than we think. Remember that words leave deep traces in children’s emotions. For this reason, we must be very careful with our way of speaking and the things we say to the little ones, especially when we are angry, tired or stressed.

In this article, we share 12 phrases that reduce the motivation of children, so that from now on you can avoid them completely.

Phrases that reduce the motivation of children

Sometimes, without realizing it, we use negative phrases that can resonate in our child’s head in a very negative way. In addition to influencing their motivation, they remind them that they “cannot” achieve anything that is desirable to us. And instead of making it change its attitude, we hinder its path to maturity.

1. “You are too careless”

No matter how angry we are, we should never use this phrase. Although our intention is to make the child more careful, we will achieve the opposite.

The child will think that it is careless and then it will not do anything to improve.

Instead, it is better to establish clear rules to follow at home. For example, to clean his room every day or to bring his dishes to the kitchen after eating. It is also good to implement consequences for when the rules are not followed. Be careful not to use negative labels to refer to your child.

2. “You should be more like your brother / cousin / etc.”

It is never appropriate to make comparisons between children because when we do, we make our children believe that their abilities are not valuable. Have you ever noticed this?

3. “I’m tired of you”

We must stop our anger before saying phrases that we will later regret. A child who hears this phrase will think that their parents no longer love them and this will hurt and cause the hatred to grow in them.

4. “All you ever do is lie”

Before you think that everything your child says is a lie or an exaggeration, you need to listen to them. If you do not take enough time to talk to your child, you will not be able to know if what they are telling you is true or not.

So no matter how tired you are , you need to take the time to listen to them. That way, they know they can always trust you.

5. “You will not get anywhere by doing it”

With this phrase, we only produce fear in our children and not a reflection for change. They will feel that if their parents are convinced that they will not be able to move on in life, no one else will.

6. “I do not know when you will ever learn”

Every child is different and has their own characteristics and time to learn. Some people find it easier than others. But in the end, they all learn. We must be patient with them and never curse them for their delays with phrases like this that only reduce the motivation of children.

7. “I stop caring”

It is normal for children to ask questions all the time. Their curiosity is innate and they need to find out the reason behind things. They can sometimes be very stubborn and it can end up annoying you, but you need to avoid using such phrases because you are sending the message that their curiosity is bothering you.

8. “You never do anything right”

This phrase is more common than you think, especially when parents become frustrated with their child’s performance. Except that it reduces the motivation of children, it is not true.

Despite the difficulties that each individual presents, there are always strengths to highlight. We must not forget that we have to make mistakes to learn.

9. “Your behavior is getting worse every day”

By saying this phrase, we tell the child that they are unruly and bad. Soon they assume that is the case and their behavior will really get worse every day.

10. “You are a lipsill”.

If a child cries, do you call them lipsill? We need to be very careful with this phrase, as it is the opposite of validating your child’s feelings. If they can laugh when they are happy, why should they not cry when they feel sad or scared? We must not hurt their self-esteem with these words. Let’s rather avoid them!

11. “I told you so”.

How many times have we said this phrase? Probably many more than we remember.

Children need to make mistakes and learn from their mistakes. We should be their guides, but we do not have to stop them from making mistakes. With this phrase, we only feed the fear of failure.

12. “You will not make any friends if you do”

This phrase makes children feel that they will never fit in with anyone. It may even stop them from trying to socialize or make friends because they believe what we tell them.

Phrases that reduce the motivation of children

In this compilation of phrases that reduce the motivation of children, we have tried to convey to you why it is so important to avoid them. More than likely you have said them more than once. Do not worry about the past, but stop saying them from now on.

Sometimes anger makes us say words we do not mean and we hurt our children. For this reason, it is important that we take a moment to breathe and think very carefully about what to say to them.

Remember that the words that hurt us the most are those that come from the people who are most important to us.