7 Keys To Communicate With Your Partner

Good communication makes problem solving easier in both the present and the future for a couple in a relationship. It also helps parents to show unity and cohesion to their children, which is very beneficial when raising a family. In today’s article, we will reveal seven keys to communicating effectively with your partner.

Show interest in what your partner has to say when you talk

When we communicate, we often listen to respond rather than listen to understand. This is one of the biggest problems with communication in a relationship.

When we talk, we all have a desire for others to listen attentively to us. For couples, the lack of attentive listening leads to serious damage to the relationship.

When we listen to a complaint or criticism, we have a tendency to start thinking about how to respond. It distracts our attention from what our partner is actually saying, and prevents us from understanding how they feel.  Do not treat the arguments you have with your partner as a contest where one side wins and the other side loses.

Speak in the first person and from your own perspective when communicating with your partner

If you want to keep the peace when talking about a problem with your partner, it is important that you use the pronoun “I”. This is the best way to let your partner know that something is bothering you.

If, on the contrary, you point your finger and accuse your partner, your message will be seen as critical and offensive. For example, avoid saying things like, “You always embarrass me in front of your parents.” A better alternative would be to say: “I did not feel much support from you last night when we had dinner with your parents”.

3. Avoid showing disgust towards your partner

According to the best-selling author Arielle Ford, expressing contempt is the main reason why couples separate. Ford says being contemptuous, defensive, evasive and constantly criticizing are the four factors that ruin a relationship.

If your partner feels limited or self-conscious when he or she speaks to you, he or she will not feel safe. This leads to ineffective or non-existent communication in your relationship. As a result, your partner will not show who he or she is when you are nearby.

4. Choose the right time to talk about important issues

Many times, a conversation can quickly go wrong simply because we are not waiting for the right moment to initiate it. But how can we know when the time is right?

Arielle Ford suggests starting with this simple phrase: “Do you think this is a good time for us to talk? There is a question that I think is difficult and I need to talk to you about it ”. If your partner says the time is not right, ask him or her when a good time would be.

It is extremely important not to make your partner feel compelled to talk at a certain time. If your partner is working or studying or is very tired, try to be patient and wait for a better opportunity to talk. Otherwise, your conversation is likely to turn into a bitter fighter you know the word of it.

5. Show interest in your partner’s opinions and interests when you communicate

Talking about the interests you have in common is the best way to connect and communicate with your partner. If you want to have nice conversations with your partner, find out what he or she likes. This way, the conversation will flow much more smoothly, which will be very beneficial for your relationship.

Therefore, it is important for partners to listen to each other when talking about their interests. It is one of the most important keys to communicating with your partner.

If your partner notices that you do not care about his or her interests and that you are not interested in talking about them, it will be a barrier to communication.

6. Focus on the problem that is relevant right now

When partners quarrel, it is common for them to address issues from the past. At the same time, we often make a point of something that has nothing to do with the problem. This is especially true when you start to lose your temper.

Release other problems you have had in the past when talking to your partner. You have to accept that you can talk about them at a later date, but with one condition – the issue must be handled and not just swept under the rug.

You can not live in the belief that you and your partner will agree every time you have disagreements. Doing so will only give rise to more tension and conflict. Sometimes it is better to take a break and come back to the latter.

7. Talk about how you feel when you talk to your partner

It is normal that we usually criticize our partner when we quarrel. When we do, it only makes our partner feel attacked and become defensive.

One of the most useful keys to communicating with your partner is not pointing fingers at them. Instead, talk about how you feel.

Navigate the conversation so that you can explain how you feel and so that you can express your feelings. By doing so, you guide the conversation towards a warmer and more understanding tone.

In conclusion, we should never overlook the importance of good communication with our partner. Respect each other, show interest in each other, know how to listen and confirm each other’s feelings – these are all keys to making your relationship one that lasts.