Help! My Child Does Not Want To Work Or Study
One of the most common complaints among parents of older children is that their children do not want to work or study.
These young people often go through a period of confusion and disillusionment. Neither studies nor work seem attractive.
One of the risks of growing up in a well-to-do environment is that young people become passive and spoiled.
These teenagers lack a vision for the future and the determination to realize their dreams.
My child does not want to work or study: why?
Lack of motivation is the result of at least two factors that affect young people’s views of life. The first is an overprotective family. The second reason is in society as a whole.
Parents who complain that their children do not want to work or study are often the ones responsible for the situation.
They have pampered the children from birth and well into adolescence. This is not always true, of course, but overprotective parents are behind many cases of apathetic teenagers.
This type of parenting results in young people who do not take responsibility for their own actions and are unable to solve problems themselves.
In general, young people who have grown up in this type of suffocating environment feel unable to take on life on their own. They are afraid of what the future will bring.
In some cases, they allow themselves to be discouraged and give up at the slightest challenge, unwilling to risk failure. This leads to a vicious mental circle because their lack of effort makes them feel even less worthy and more unhappy with their lives.
In addition, because they are used to their parents taking care of all the problems for them, overprotected teenagers have little tolerance for frustration.
This means that they react very badly when things do not go as planned.
Social aspects
Society is another factor that causes some young people to turn their backs on both work and study. We live in a highly competitive world and working life today offers few opportunities for recreation and breaks.
It is also difficult for young people to find a good job even after years of study. When teens see this, they have a hard time understanding the value of making the effort to graduate. A degree that may not be worth anything in the job market.
If it is difficult to find work for those with higher qualifications, it is even more difficult for those who only have a high school education. For young people, it may seem that there is no way to win.
In English, they are called NEETs, – Not in Education, Employment, or Training – the young people who neither work nor study. Those who feel that all the effort they put into work or study is a waste of time.
This lack of drive to succeed and unwillingness to fight for their dreams, turn these young people into victims of the society they reject.
When they do not have a role model to follow, teenagers still try to fit in. They jump on trends without questioning whether they are good or healthy. They take after their peers and do what they do.
The end result of this is that young people, without the right guidance, lose the will to live according to their own values. They stop fighting for what they believe in.
My child does not want to work or study; is this NEET?
The good news is that NEETs are still in the minority. But more and more parents are worried that their children do not want to work or study.
What can families do to help these young people? The first step is to understand why it happens at all. In that sense, the following tips may help:
Build their self-esteem
As parents, we owe it to ourselves to teach our children to love themselves in a balanced way.
Teenagers should be able to recognize and build up their strengths, but also acknowledge their weaknesses and work to control them.
Emphasize values
Material goods can never compensate for personality deficiencies. As a parent, emphasize the values that help your children become adults who are responsible and committed to the world around them.
Set reasonable limits
Establishing boundaries helps young people learn to deal with frustration, and teaches them how far to go.
The basic rules should be clear. Do not ask too much of your children, but do not underestimate their abilities either.
If necessary, contact a psychologist or family counselor, who will help you deal with this, increasingly common problem, together.
If you find yourself complaining that your child does not want to work or study, it’s time to get involved and change the situation.