How To Achieve Harmony In A Bonus Family
When two people get married or move in together, they do so because they love each other and believe that their love will last a lifetime. However, we know that this is not always the case. There are countless reasons why families break up and in many cases these families have children who also suffer due to the separation. As life goes on, new constellations can also arise in bonus families. With this, conflicts and insecurity can also arise among the new family members. How do you create harmony in a bonus family?
If you and your new partner have children from a previous marriage, it is normal for both families to move in together and live together as a bonus family. This type of family faces major challenges that a “normal” nuclear family does not have to deal with.
New family roles in a bonus family
In a bonus family, all members will have new family roles. It is a delicate balancing act between building new relationships and giving children and adults time to adjust.
If you want to merge two families, or if you have already moved in together, it may be a good idea to consider the following tips so that you can achieve harmony in this new family unit.
Build strong relationships to achieve harmony in a bonus family
As adults, you are the ship’s captains. As parents and managers in your household, you are responsible for this aspect. Therefore, you should devote time to yourself as a couple, as well as time for your children. For communication to be effective, it must be open and respectful among all family members.
Structure the home to achieve harmony in a bonus family
Divide the work and household tasks according to each of the family members’ individual abilities and needs. Maybe your partner is better at cooking while you know how to wash so that your clothes always smell fresh. Your older children may find it rewarding, for example, to share their experiences and care for their younger siblings.
Decide the house rules together to achieve harmony in a bonus family
Having house rules is important to ensure that you live together in harmony and that everyone can enjoy themselves and feel safe. Children need consistent rules. Agree with your partner on what you consider to be acceptable behavior and the consequences of not following the rules.
If your children also spend time with their other parent, it will be easier if you can coordinate these rules as much as possible.
Talk about money
Money is an important part of people’s lives. But when two families merge, it can cause problems if you do not arrange your finances satisfactorily. Therefore, it is important that you are open with information about your income, your assets and liabilities to your partner and that you also have insight into your partner’s finances.
Try to come up with a common basis for how you spend, save and invest. But it can be a good idea to keep your assets separate.
Respect each other’s differences and differences
Everyone is different and the basis for living well together and having a good relationship is respect. There are many benefits to having a greater life experience as a parent and partner.
It is also possible that you may need to adapt or combine the different traditions and habits of everything, from holiday to what time the children should come home in the evening.
Your family’s well-being always comes first
You should focus all your attention on the welfare of your family. Try to talk and take into account everyone’s needs. At the same time, be prepared to make reasonable adjustments so that everything goes smoothly.
How to handle children in a bonus family
It is important that you also have a plan to meet all the children so that you can adapt to each other. Everyone must be able to feel at home. Consider the following tips to do this:
- Understand your role. As a bonus parent, it is a good idea to take it easy in their new role in the family. Remember that your bonus children have their own parents. Be a positive role model for them in everyday life.
- Be empathetic. Try to see things from the perspective of your bonus children.
- Validate and acknowledge everyone’s feelings. Be sensitive to the children’s concerns about how they feel in the new family.
- Make sure all family members follow the house rules. Explain the house rules clearly from the beginning. It is best that your partner takes care of the upbringing of their own children, especially in the early stages of the relationship.
- Yes, there will always be setbacks. Family relationships change over time. You and your partner will probably learn at the same time as you take on new challenges. Children may feel conflicting loyalties and need to take a step back at times.
- Support the children’s relationship with their grandparents. If your bonus children’s grandparents are still alive and have an active role in their lives, try to strengthen this relationship and not stand in the way of it. Put the children’s interests first. Grandparents are a valuable resource that can provide unmatched love and togetherness.
