How To Avoid Being A Controlling Parent

As parents, it is obvious that we always want the best for our children. But since they do not come with instruction books and manuals under their arms, we all definitely make mistakes, for example, we may be for controlling parents.

If you try to monitor everything and make sure that everything always goes well, you are often too controlling instead of helpful. Instead, it is an obstacle to children’s healthy development, and it can lead to many problems.

Being a parent is not easy

Parenting is complex, and all children have their own personality. Parents play a fundamental role in their children’s upbringing, but if you are a too controlling parent, your child’s development will not be completely natural and definitely not optimal.

Guide your children along their own path, do not dictate it

The important thing is that parents understand that their children have their own lives. Our job is to guide them along a good path, not to solve all the problems and obstacles they encounter. They grow up and need to know how to navigate their own steps in their lives.

By supervising and protecting our children too much and always aiming for perfection, we prevent them from developing all their skills. By being a controlling parent, we actually hinder their development.

Don’t be a pushover either

This does not mean that you should do what your children say and let them decide over your life. Nor can you let them run wind for wave. There must be a balance. Children need to learn that there are boundaries, and must learn to distinguish between a good situation and a bad one.

The idea is to have a harmonious relationship where both parents and children feel comfortable and can enjoy being part of a family. It is important to have a positive attitude, but which, if necessary, is also determined.

Consequences of being a controlling parent

Children of controlling parents generally seek out dangerous situations where they can challenge their parents. They tend to develop emotional deficiencies, and are constantly living under great stress.

They often feel bored or lost, which can lead to them developing fears that can become serious problems.

Low self-esteem

Children of an overprotective parent often tend to have low self-esteem, as they often think they are not at the level that their parent would like them to be. They feel that they can not do anything right, which usually affects their relationships with others.

Indecision

They are often unable to make decisions for themselves and find it difficult to take responsibility. They hide from everything outside their comfort zone.

Build trust and confidence to stop being a controlling parent

It is important to learn to relate to your children in an open way. This is to be able to build trust and confidence. Keep in mind that if your children do not trust you, they are looking for someone else, and it may not be the right person. This in turn can lead to bad decisions.

When they are small, you have complete control. But when they grow up, they may take different paths than you had planned for them.

Keep in mind that sooner or later your child will not be small anymore. Many parents fear adolescence because of all the changes associated with it, but the one who finds it most difficult is the controlling parent.

Children of controlling parents in their teens are likely to completely distance themselves from everything they feel their parents control. Instead, they try to express themselves in a completely different way.

As parents, we must understand that our children do not belong to us. We must allow them to grow at their own pace and experience adversity. At the same time, we must not let them forget that we will always be there for them, whenever they need us.