How To Deal With Children Who Use Silence As A Weapon

Silence as a weapon consists in not talking to anyone for one reason or another. This is when someone ignores another person to avoid an unwanted situation or punish it. The person tries to show that they do not agree with what is happening.

The term almost explains itself, and the main purpose of this behavior is to ignore another person. It can occur in all types of relationships, whether in a family, between friends or partners.

As a parent, you should make sure that your children do not use this tactic to get what they want. You need to learn to use a strategy that encourages them to open up and communicate instead of shutting themselves in.

5 tips for dealing with children who use silence as a weapon

It is true that parents can also use silence to deal with unwanted situations. But what happens when your child uses silence as a weapon?

Below we list some tips for dealing with your child’s attitude.

1. Do not show your cards

It is not easy to be the target of a person’s silence. This is especially true when your child feels hurt, upset or frustrated.

Remember that these feelings are a natural response to certain things. However, you should let them know that you do not accept this behavior. Your child’s attitude can make you angry or stressed. Then they will be sure that they have got the reaction they wanted.

In these cases, it is best to try to stay calm, at least on the outside. Do not get angry, even if you feel frustrated.

2. Do not give in to children who use silence as a weapon

Our second piece of advice is not to give in when children try to use silence as a weapon against you. Children often use this tactic to try to achieve a goal. For example, it can be to avoid punishment after breaking a rule.

Your child does not acknowledge that he or she has done something wrong and does not accept the consequences. Instead, the child reverses the situation by using silence to try to attract attention. The goal is for you to rethink and not give your child the punishment you envisioned.

In many cases, parents want to make their children happy and can not stand that they are upset. Therefore, they change their decisions to break the silence and simply give up and let the child win.

If that happens, the children will be happy and start talking again, but they will not have learned anything from the situation. They learn that they can escape consequences and boring things by using silence as a weapon. Consequently, they do not take responsibility for their actions and do not learn to improve their behavior.

3. Take control of the problem

You can not force your children to talk, but you must be available and wait for them to choose to talk about the problem. We recommend that you stay calm while handling it.

Make it clear that silence as a weapon is not a way to solve any problems. For example, you could say, “I understand that you are upset, but we can not solve the problem if you do not talk to me.”

4. Give your children an incentive to talk

Another way to encourage children to open up faster is to remove certain privileges until they speak. You can take their phone or video game until they stop using silence as a weapon against you. You can even ask them to stay in their room until they are ready to talk.

But do not make it a bitter struggle or a big problem. All you have to do is say, “I’ll take your phone until you decide to talk to me again.”

5. Do not force them to talk

Asking them to talk over and over again can keep them quiet even longer. Therefore, you need to give them space to think about what happened and come up with ways to solve the problem.

One thing you should not do is turn the situation into a power struggle. Arguing with your children or using silence as a weapon against them will not solve anything. It will only make the situation worse and hurt your children’s feelings.

In short, children often use silence as a weapon when they do not know how to handle difficult situations. As a parent, you need to teach your children other ways to solve problems more constructively. Help them control their emotions without resorting to this type of behavior.