The First 40 Days Are To Build A Nest, Feed And Love

The first 40 days after giving birth are for specific things: it is a period to build a nest, experience magical intimacy, get to know and love your new family member and to welcome him or her into the world.

The world stops, too few moments are more magical than when we welcome the child we have carried for 9 months into the world.

One of the most interesting books about what is called the puerperium, ie. the time after delivery, is “Safe Postpartum” by Beatrijs Smulders.

The author is a professional midwife who gives us the opportunity to immerse ourselves in the common tasks and situations that mothers and fathers experience after childbirth, a period that of course extends beyond the classic 40 days.

As we pointed out in a previous article, the puerperium can last as long as a year. Smulder’s book guides us in a realistic way through all these experiences; a kaleidoscope of fears, emotions, physical exhaustion, problems and joy.

One thing that is clear is that many mothers are forced to move on from the physical and emotional universe of childbirth to dive into the concrete reality of work, money, schedules and daily routines, while the baby’s life slowly creeps in.

How do we balance everything? How can we meet all needs and obligations? It is, to say the least, a complex but exciting journey.

Whether you believe in it or not, the first 40 days after giving birth are very important. That is when we welcome the new life and discover our new roles as parents.

During the first 40 days after birth, you need intimacy

The first 40 days after delivery are yours. It is the mother and father’s territory, and together with the child you create a unique and magical sphere in which all three of you experience intense emotions.

It is okay to say no to visits for a few days and put your goals and work commitments aside. There is something that is much more important, something that needs attention, food and love… your child.

It’s time to build a nest

Building a nest means concretely creating a home. There is nothing wrong with using the same words as when talking about the animal kingdom, because in the end our behaviors are the same: to raise our child and provide protection, warmth, love and of course food.

• Mom and Dad build nests with the baby to welcome him or her into the world.
• We build nests because we need to be close to each other.

• We build nests so that we can become role models for the child.
• We build nests to stay calm and discover our new roles, needs and obligations.
• We build nests together to take care of each other and because the mother also needs attention and care after her birth.
• We build nests to breastfeed and hold our baby skin to skin, and heart to heart.

The best weapon in the first days: your sixth sense

During the first 40 days, you face many challenges: adjustment, breastfeeding, night sleep, umbilical cord, pacifier, crib, colic and crying.

• Knowing how to interpret the child’s crying is the most important thing a parent must learn. Is the child screaming with hunger? Does something hurt? Is it time to change your diaper? It is normal to feel a little obsessed during the first few days. Over time, one calms down while the so-called sixth sense also appears.

• Without us noticing, a feeling of calm arises and we learn to understand that what our child needs most is closeness. We learn to calm down when we hold the baby in our arms and that breastfeeding makes the baby relax while providing him or her with nutrition.

The new mind, the maternal instinct, is a real superpower that helps us take care of the child. The first 40 days after birth are sometimes a difficult time, but with the right perspective, they can be some of the most important days in your life.

Things like stress, work and friends have to wait – because this time is only ours.